The Top 5 Challenges of New Moms and How to Avoid Them

As a new mom there are many challenges we have to go through that we didn't expect while we were pregnant. There is so much information our there designed to tell us how to take care of ourselves while we're pregnant, but as soon as junior arrives all the guidance and support is for them and our own needs falls on the back-burner.

Giving birth changes our lives in millions of little ways. Good sleep is often a distant memory, our bodies are turned upside down, and our emotions are taken for a joy-ride on a rollercoaster....just to mention a few things. And it is not as if we have a lot of time on our hands to deal with the big changes. Now we have this beautiful little person to take care of, so we are hardly going to have much spare energy or time to take care of ourselves.

These are just 5 of the common challenges new moms face and some ideas for getting around them:

Taking Care of Your Own Needs
When we hit mommy mode everything we do is for our baby who is dependent on us for everything. We often wrap ourselves up in taking care of baby and forget to take care of ourselves. This causes many new moms to start to lose their sense of who they are and they can feel resentful about being at home, or even towards their baby for being so helpless.

It crucial to schedule regular time each day to do something for yourself (even if it's only for 10 minutes). This could be taking time to shower and do your hair, meditate, do some walking or other exercise, or simply sit and write in your journal. Putting in the effort to take the time to do something for yourself that makes you feel good will keep you from getting burnt out or overwhelmed.

Feeling Sexy
After you've had a baby the changes that your body has gone through within the last 40 weeks takes its toll. Stretch marks, extra fat deposits, sore breasts that have changed in size, all of these things can make it difficult for you to feel sexy.

Many women worry that their husband is going to look at them differently and that he won't feel the same way about them. It is important to discuss these feelings with your husband and at the same time not put too much pressure on yourself.

You need to remember that you can't expect your relationship between you and your husband to be exactly the same after you gave birth as it was before hand. Both of you have changed through this process and you have a new life that you're responsible for.

It can take time to get to know each other once again. One simple way of rekindling the flames of your relationship is to start regular dating again - time alone for just the two of you. Don't forget, your body will heal itself over time and you will have the power to be as sexy and feminine as you want.

Getting Back Into Shape
It can be rather disturbing when you give birth to your baby and your weight doesn't immediately drop off. For some new moms this is really upsetting. One of the biggest mistakes that women make is to try crash diets, intensive exercise, or anything else they can think of to lose their pregnancy weight within the first two months after the birth of their child. This isn't realistic, it took 40 weeks to get into this shape, and it is going to take time to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight.

You need to keep in mind that nature created the process of childbirth to ensure you have the energy to take care of your baby and yourself throughout the next year - in this regard the additional fat deposits and bigger breasts are crucial.

It will take time for your body to get back into shape. You need to exercise cautiously and avoid any intensive exercise which might cause injury during the first few months.

Lack of Sleep
All new moms experience a lack of sleep during the first few months. Some babies will follow a schedule at a young age and start sleeping at night. Other babies will wake you up every hour for the first six months.

Feeling completely worn out due to lack of sleep can cause a lot of problems for new moms. It's important to put things into perspective. You know that you're going to have a few months of added responsibility and reduced sleep. If you remind yourself that this time will pass quickly and understand that this experience will help you grow as a person, it is less likely to overwhelm you.

Also focus on the gift of having a baby and try to get support from family and friends to help you get snatches of sleep through the day when they can baby-sit. Simply changing your focus will help you to get through this period of time with much less stress.

Inability to Take a Timeout
The last big issue that moms run into is an inability to take time out. Once you become a mom you're always a mom, 24 hours a day seven days a week. It's a full-time job, night and day, and sometimes it's hard to be able to take time away from your baby to do something fun for yourself.

You need to trust your husband, parents, or baby sitter with your baby for short periods of time, so that you can take time out. When you become a mom, it is crucial that you don't forget what your passions are.

Too many moms put their hobbies and interests completely on the back-burner. So whether it is hanging out with girl friends, going to a movie, reading a book, or going shopping, don't let your own need for interesting and fun activities fall to the way-side.

Fear of Spoiling Children-A Confusing Issue for New Parents

New parents often wonder…“Is it possible to spoil my child?” Definitely yes! We can spoil them by making them more insecure, anxious, inhibited, and emotionally repressed. This has been accomplished in many children of our culture. How do we do it? Well, it starts in early infancy.

Since the time of Dr Spock, parents were taught to not always answer their child’s cry for comfort, for fear of spoiling them. Many parents (now grandparents) took this advice very seriously. They didn’t realize, that how we respond to their cues for comforting, will influence how they feel about themselves and relate to other people in their future. Parents were led to believe that continual comforting could be spoiling. But there is a vast difference that begs to be recognized.

According to pediatrician, Dr.Meriam Rossi, research has shown that how consistently you comfort your baby when sick, upset, or hurt, especially in the first year, is extremely important. By responding to your child’s cues for comfort with acceptance and loving gestures, your child will soon learn to calm and comfort itself. (the payoff!)

On the other hand, consistently making light of a child’s discomfort, (big boys don’t cry) (don’t be a cry baby), trying to distract a crying baby with food, or getting annoyed, can be eventually interpreted as rejection. Eventually, the child learns to keep their feelings to themselves, fearing ridicule, teasing, or upsetting the parent. They can also learn such troublesome core beliefs such as “I am not worthy of Love”, “The world is not a safe place”

Inconsistent acceptance of feelings by parents, makes it difficult for some individuals to develop close, loving relationships later because unconsciously, they don’t feel worthy of love. As we all know, boys particularly have been discouraged from crying and feeling, even as infants. We have very intense cultural conditioning around boys and feelings. This does not help them become loving, caring, or stable men.

But both sexes can develop many undesirable defense mechanisms to reduce the likelihood of rejection in their lives when solid attachment has not taken place. Perhaps you know someone like this.

A child who gets rejected for having uncomfortable feelings, has to work very hard to get their parents attention. They can become very demanding. Some demanding children have been “spoiled”, not necessarily through over indulgence but often through lack of adequate comforting. They have not been helped to feel secure in the world and worthy of love.

I know that most parents want to be the best parent they can be. So don’t be afraid to comfort your baby anytime, regardless of the criticism you might get. It’s a safe rule to say that loving and accepting your child won’t spoil them, but not comforting them consistently when they ask for it, probably will.

Let’s support parents who are creating a more loving society. Because we could sure use it! Source.

Kids physical fitness - top ten tips

Select the right equipment, sign them up for swimming class, and fit with them.

By David Leonhardt

Like most parents, you are probably worried about the poor state of your kids' fitness...or their total lack of fitness altogether. Very few children get the exercise they need these days, with the lure of so many screens with so many functions, coming in almost as many sizes. The result is a legacy of youth obesity in kids as young as six years old and well into their teens.

To help you cope with your kids' missing fitness, we offer ten tips you can apply in your kid's life before it is too late:

A) Kick them out. It is a proven fact that kids who are throwing balls, skipping rope, chasing each other and climbing on structures are more fit than kids who sit around the house. Just one detail...don't kick their cell phones and their iPods and their other anti-fitness equipment out with them.

B) Try more physical playing with your children. Chase your kids around. Bonus, you get exercise too.

C) Make Christmas a celebration of fitness. No, don't chase your kids up the tree...just give them some fitness toys instead of toys they would play sitting down.

D) Make fitness a family affair. You have probably already noticed how hard it is to find time to do things together as a family. This is your golden opportunity. The element of peer pressure (the whole family is going, so you can't skip out) will help the kids keep on track. And let's face the facts - it's not easy to keep fit when you are a parent. So why not find a family fitness center near you?

Hydraulic fitness equipment for your kids

E) Choose hydraulic fitness equipment for your kids. You will normally find these only at fitness centers (another reason to make fitness a family affair) What makes hydraulics special, is that they don't need to be adjusted for each child. The resistance depends on the force exerted. So your 6 year old, who pushes with less intensity, will face less resistance than your 12 year old, who will face more. This is far superior to weights, where you have to keep adjusting the amount of weight until you get it right.

F) Try circuit training. This is also best done at a fitness center, because circuit training involves a variety of machines, all set up in a circuit. Kids accustomed to computer games, are less likely to be bored by circuit training, because they are constantly on the move from one machine to the other.

G) Sign them up for an organized physical activity, one where they will develop a sense of accomplishment . That sense of accomplishment is the motivation that keeps them going. It does not need to be competitive, but it does need to provide them with goals to work for. For example, sign them up for a dance class where there is a show to practice for at the end of the year. Or a swimming class where they can achieve various levels right up to certified life guard.

H) Don't just sign your kids up for a physical activity. Have them practice it at home...only, don't call it practice. That sounds too much like homework. Ask them instead to show you how good they are. That sounds a lot more like showing off and getting quality attention. (The ask them to show Aunt Penelope and cousin Bart and the next door neighbor and...)

I) Unplug the TV. If you can't limit their watching to an hour a day, limit the days on which you plug it in. Ditto for the computer and any other addictive screen-based electronic gadget.

J) Your kids won't like me for this one, but give your kids more household chores...specifically those that involve physical activity like mowing, raking and vacuuming. Caveat: this means that you will have to find new forms of exercise (but I think we covered that in the chasing your kids around and taking them to a family fitness center.

K) Walk more in real life. Do you take the stairs or the escalators? Well, so do your kids. Take them on the healthy route. Do you park near to a store (where your car will get dinged by other car doors) and deprive your kids and yourself from your rightful walking? Or do you park far away from the store where your car is safe from dents and where your kids and you are safe from inertia.

Oops. That's eleven. Oh well, you get a bonus tip.

So just what is a parent to do? Chase your kids right onto hydraulic fitness equipment at the nearest circuit-training workout gym, give them more fitness-oriented equipment for Christmas (instead of the latest screen-based do-hicky) and have your children get involved in more of the household chores.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Learn more about kids and youth fitness equipment, or about other hydraulic fitness equipment for circuit training. The writer is David Leonhardt , a professional freelance SEO writer.

Keeping Your Kids Active

Keeping kids active today is becoming increasingly difficult. Most parents blame video and computer games for this, as well as the Internet in general. While those things have certainly contributed to a more sedentary lifestyle, it is really up to the parents to keep children active as much as possible. One of the best ways to do this is to stay active with them. Young children often play outside with others in the neighborhood, but there are some children that do not fit in with their peers, and there are also children that grow up in neighborhoods where there are no other children or where it is not safe to play outside without adults.

For these children, and for others that are not getting enough exercise, parents must work to keep them active. Taking them to the park is helpful, but after a while this ceases to be interesting, so parents must find other ways of ensuring that their children stay active. One way to do this is to have them take a class such as martial arts or ballet where they will get consistent exercise. If a parent can take the class with them, that is even better, but some classes are designed only for children. Naturally, a kid should not be forced to enroll in something that he or she will not enjoy, regardless of whether exercise is needed.

For children that do not want to enroll in this kind of structured activity, though, there are other options. Playing Frisbee or horseshoes or badminton with parents or other relatives can help a kid stay active, as can outdoor play with friends. This does not mean that a child should be forbidden to play video games or watch television. However, the time spent doing those things should be limited. This is especially true if the kid is not in a physical education class at school or if he or she makes no effort at all to get any kind of exercise. Children that stay active are less likely to be obese, and they often have fewer health problems as they get older, making staying active very important for them both now and in the future.

About The Author

Dave Roth runs a leading outdoor game and sports product site that sells horsehoes, volleyball, and cornhole gear, go to http://www.corntossmania.com right away.

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Barbie Doll - The Perfect Figure?

While no one will argue with the popularity of Mattel's Barbie Doll, one area that has raised its fair share of controversy over the years is her figure.

Many parents from around the world have argued that Barbie's ultra-slim figure represents a ridiculous standard for a body shape. They say that many girls grow up thinking that they must have the same figure as Barbie or there is something wrong with them. While I don't take that radical of a stance, I will say that it would be quite difficult to measure up to Barbie's standards.

If you take the measurements of Barbie, she would be over 7 feet tall, weigh around 125 pounds, and have a shape of 32-20-42. Of course, no woman could maintain a figure like that, but this is where the controversy stems.

In addition, Barbie has a very long neck. In fact, her neck is nearly twice the size of the average woman. Her feet are also another source of criticism with many saying that Barbie's feet are only half the size of a normal womans due to foot binding. That is the practice of preventing your feet from growing by constricting them.

Some have went as far as saying that the Barbie doll has caused their children to become anorexic from trying to maintain Barbie's figure. I think that may be a little extreme, but I can see both sides.

In recent years, Mattel has given in a little bit on this issue and widened Barbie's waist a bit. This took place around the year 2000. Barbie now has a more proportioned waist.

Regardless of what Barbie's figure looks like, or who is right or wrong on this issue, the real winner in this debate is Mattel. The added controversy and publicity only helps to fuel sales. I wonder why no one talks about Ken's figure?

Kids and Money - Why Is It So Hard?

We learn so many things as we grow up. We learn how to walk, talk, and get away with not doing our homework. We learn how to play complicated games, many of them involving pretend money.

So, why is it so hard for us to learn how to manage money?

Why do so many people struggle to make ends meet, even on reasonably high incomes?

Why do so few people manage to provide sufficiently for themselves in retirement?

It’s not rocket science. We know what it takes. And there are some people doing it. So why isn’t basic money management as widely understood as basic geometry?

Imagine what life would be like if making money came as easily and naturally as riding a bike or tying your shoelaces. Imagine graduating high school with a permanent, secure, passive income already in place. You wake each the morning to find more money has appeared in your account overnight! If you want to travel, you do. If you want to paint, write, or do any other creative activity, you do. You choose your occupation based on what you love to do, not the burden of having to pay the bills. You have all the time you need to socialise with your family and friends, to stay in shape, and to practice your spirituality.

This world is not a pipe-dream. It’s not unrealistic. The world is alive with opportunity, more so now than ever before, and the opportunity is expanding exponentially.

With the right knowledge and attitudes, today’s kids can capture their share of that opportunity, and set themselves up for life.

So, why isn’t everyone doing it?

Because not everyone’s parents have the right knowledge and attitudes to pass along to their kids. Some of those who have the knowledge and attitudes are still setting themselves up in life, working long hours, and find it difficult to break the knowledge down into terms their kids can understand.

What can we do about it?

As parents, we need to be conscious that financial education ranks up there with education about nutrition, health, and communication. We must educate ourselves, so that we can educate our children.

There are many places to go on the web to get that vital financial education.

The Cash Smart Kids program (http://www.cash-smart-kids.com/) provides lessons for the kids, plus additional reference material for their parents.

The Rich Dad website (http://www.richdad.com/) is rich in content, and contains information about the Cashflow series of educational board games.

There are numerous e-Books, ezine articles, and offline financial publications with an online presence.

And, of course, there are dozens of relevant books in your local book store.

What Kids can learn from the Martial Arts

Martial Arts are becoming more popular as the years go on and they do provide us with the skills that we need in order to protect ourselves form others. However, when it comes to kids and Martial Arts, some parents are wary of whether or not a Martial Arts school is for them. How do you know if your child will like the school and just how do you know it will teach them all of the right things?

Martial Arts and What They Teach Our Kids

There is a misconception that Martial Arts schools teach our children to fight. Obviously all Martial Arts consist of some kind of physical activity, but it is purely taught so that our kids can protect themselves against harm.

In a world packed full of danger it is always a good idea to get our children to be able to look after themselves. At the end of the day there is only so much a parent can teach their child but once they get out into the open world, they are literally on their own. That means that they need to be able to protect themselves and Martial Arts schools do help them to do that.

Now, there are obviously going to be some kids who just want to cause trouble. However, generally Martial Arts are only learned by those who are serious about the practice. All Martial Arts require some form of focus and kids who are just out to cause trouble and fight all the time will not be able to stick with Martial Arts for long.

Martial Arts schools never teach children to fight. If anything they teach the opposite, as using the skills that you have learned through Martial Arts to just simply fight, is opposed.

So just what are Martial Arts schools teaching our children then? Well, they teach them to look after themselves, to stay focused, to have a higher self confidence and overall to keep calm. There is definitely nothing sinister going on and Martial Arts classes are extremely safe to leave your children in. You just have to make sure that you find a good school and that you do not get sucked in by the many fake Martial Arts schools out there.

Overall Martial Arts schools are good for our kids and they do not teach anything dodgy. If you do have a child enrolled in a Martial Arts school and you are not particularly happy with the attitude they are developing, then you should really consider swapping schools. It is all a matter of doing your research and finding one to suit you and your child. You should eventually find one and you can rest safe in the knowledge that your child is bettering themselves and learning to become more protected against the world.

America's Children Are Dying To Lose Weight

Wasting away, Katie died weighing only 58 pounds. And she was sixteen. That just doesn't seem possible to me when I look at my seven-year-old daughter who weighs in at about 55 pounds. Anorexia is a medical enigma. Although there is little concrete evidence of what actually causes anorexia, most experts agree that there are several contributing risk factors. We believe that awareness of these risk factors can reduce the odds that they will be triggered so we are hopeful that this information will save lives. If you're a parent or a teacher, you need to read on…

Word has it around town that Katie had been told by a high school teacher that "she needed to go on a diet." So she did. Certainly this one comment didn't cause this young lady to spin out of control with dieting but it might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Negative comments about body type and size from authority figures, teachers, coaches and parents, can have a big impact on an adolescent child's self-esteem and are implicated as possible triggers in studies on anorexia. Never underestimate the power of the spoken word to heal… or kill…

Eating disorders (bulimia and anorexia) have historically been considered a girl problem but the pendulum is swinging. Anorexia is being diagnosed more frequently in boys, too. Young boys are becoming more body image conscious than in previous generations. Case in point: my nine-year-old son has come home from school upset on several occasions because kids have called him fat. He is far from fat; in fact, he has cystic fibrosis so we are grateful for any extra padding he has and work very hard to keep his weight as high as possible. His diet is exactly the opposite of what everyone else is eating, filled with high fat, high calorie foods. Jacob understands the importance of complying with his dietary requirements but it can be hard for him to go against the norm.

With the emphasis on childhood obesity and diabetes, children are thankfully becoming more aware of the necessity of good nutrition and weight control. But I wonder if there is a price to be paid by children who are predisposed to eating disorders. With the media, parents, doctors, schools and peers emphasizing being thin and high achieving, it will be unfortunate if the numbers of children diagnosed with anorexia accelerates.

The difficulty lies in knowing which children are predisposed to eating disorders. As our society addresses the obesity issue, are we unknowingly putting some children at risk for eating disorders? How can we address the very real, very troublesome problems associated with the alarmingly increasing body mass index of our young children without triggering other children's potential for becoming anorexic?

This is a problem every parent of every child should consider. Research shows that about 6% of young people suffer from an eating disorder and this figure is thought to be low. The next time you are at a school assembly, look around. There are likely to be at least 10 kids there who have an eating disorder. One of them may even be your own. It is thought that the "anorexic mentality" is in place long before there is physical evidence of the disease. Has your thirteen -year-old been on a diet lately? Stats say that there is an 80% likelihood that she has been. Dieting at a young age puts children at risk for anorexia.

The cause of an eating disorder in any one child is unclear because multiple factors appear to play a role. Genetic factors, family interaction patterns, and the individual's own character and personality have all been implicated. But to summarize the problem in a single sentence, it appears that the illness is a response to coping with stress in genetically predisposed children who are filled with denial about their feelings and weight. There! Quick, short, concise, and anything but simple. This single sentence has many implications for parents and parenting. Let's take a brief look at each of these contributing factors individually and provide parenting responses that might be helpful in combating eating disorders.

1. The Genetic Factor in Eating Disorders

2. Anorexia and Bulimia as a Way of Coping with Stress

3. Psychological Factors in Eating Disorders

4. The Role of the Family

5. Societal Influences

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure particularly where eating disorders are concerned. At this time, there is no cure for anorexia. And America's children are dying to lose weight.

Fun Kids Games

One person is "It," and he or she walks around the outside of the circle, touching the other children's heads saying "duck, duck, duck."

When he comes to the person whom he wants to chase him, he calls "goose."

The goose chases the "it" person around the circle, and the one who reaches the empty space first sits down.

The other one is now "It"!

Add a few twists to the "Duck, Duck, Goose" game and you have another of the most fun children games called Indy 500:

Have the kids sit in the circle (on the floor, or in chairs) and give each a number and name of a car (example: 1's are Ferraris, 2's are Fords).

The game leader calls out a car name, and those cars have to get up and run around the circle.

The first person back to their spot wins . . . BUT, the cars can have "mechanical difficulties", as their leader chooses.

The leader might choose to holler "run out of gas! " or "flat tire!" or "no muffler!" or "turbo boost!"

The person has to act/sound out those commands in their attempt to get back to their seat!

Of course, Hide and Seek is always a favorite, and for a sitting game, Old Maid is fun for parents, too! Think back about the games you played, or thumb through some magazines. You'll get excited to share ideas with your kiddos!

Laughter is wonderful medicine, and fun kids' games are sure to invoke plenty of good times, whether there are two or twenty participants!

Should you Limit Your Kids Time Playing Video Games?

Whether to limit the time that a child plays video games is a question that almost every parent has battled over at least once and often many times. However, just because one parent has a specific opinion about it does not mean that another parent holds the same opinion. In other words, whether a parent should limit his or her childs time playing video games is a largely subjective, opinion question. There are, though, some signs that a parent should look for when trying to make a determination as to whether the time that his or her kid is spending on video games is too much.

If a kid who is playing video games is paying so much attention to them that his or her schoolwork is suffering, a parent might want to limit the video game time that child has. In addition, if relationships are suffering because of video games, this might also be another reason to limit the amount of time spent playing them. Video games are supposed to be for fun and enjoyment only. Unfortunately, they can actually become addictive. When someone is addicted to video games, the rest of that persons life suffers. He or she will generally not do well at all with school or work, and the relationships that have been built with others will be ignored, at least to some extent.

The person may also lose sleep, not eat well, and exhibit other behaviors consistent with focusing too much on video games and not enough on reality. This is, of course, very detrimental, especially for a child who is just developing habits. Because this is such a serious issue and can lead to many problems in the future, any parent who is concerned about how much time his or her kid is spending playing video games or any parent who sees a change in his or her child because of video game playing should limit the time each day that the child is allowed to play the video game.